Yes, it was definitely moving to watch Mr. Obama make that inspiring speech accepting the nomination and declaring the change he would make for the good of all Americans. I had the biggest cheese smile on my face throughout his speech. I didn’t even know I could possibly smile that long without my face getting stuck that way (hey mom! I guess your theory has been debunked). And yes, there were several lines that stood out, profound sound bites that will inevitably be revisited and replayed throughout the rest of the election. Here are a couple of my favorites: “8 is enough!,” “McCain likes to say that he’ll follow bin Laden to the Gates of Hell – but he won’t even go to the cave where he lives,” and “I don’t know about you, but I’m not ready to take a ten percent chance on change.”

While his speech was undoubtedly moving, I was also moved by something else. That something else being the unabashed exchange of love and solidarity between Barack and Michelle Obama. You can see it in the way they look at each other, touch each other. It’s present in both their verbal and non-verbal interaction. Every time I see it, I am overwhelmed with emotion. I beam from the inside out. Why, you ask? Black love of course, on public display for the whole world to see.

So often the Black household is criticized on matters such as, absent fathers, single mothers, poverty, and other issues that disproportionately afflict the Black community. And then there’s also the issue of the Black man who defies the negative statistics, to go on and acquire that white trophy woman to adorn his arm.

However, in the case of the Obamas, they defy every stigma, statistic and stereotype. You have a Black man who has attained the highest level of success possible by his mere candidancy and adorned on his arm is a beautiful Black woman. And not a light-skinned Black woman (and that’s not a crack or put down to light-skinned Black women), but an unmistakably Black woman. Their obvious love and support of one another serves as a model example for all families but especially the Black families of America. It puts the world on notice that it is possible for our Black men to be good husbands and fathers and that the Black woman is willing, able and qualified to be that supportive figure encouraging the success of her Black man. This display of love, unity and commitment, while usually glazed over by the media, is having a subliminal yet profound effect on Black America, just as much as Barack Obama’s historical candidacy.

Black Love? Yes We Can!

Speak Soon,

~ J

Enjoy

~ J

Ironically enough, later on in the day I came across a news interview wherein a sociologist discussed the very proposition that adults with children ARE NOT necessarily happier. It seems as though there’s also a Newsweek article out or about to come out about the very same topic. Anyhow, the sociologist when on to say based on data collected on 13,000 adults, gauging the frequency of certain emotions in the previous week, adults with children experience significantly more depression, whether they had children living at home or were empty-nesters. She went on to say other sociology studies have discovered the more kids one has, the more feelings of depression. She also revealed people hate to admit they don’t experience all this joy with having children because it runs counter to our cultural beliefs that children make you happy.  Finally! Someone speaks the truth.

Now as sad and shocking to some people as these findings may be, I’m filled with bittersweet gratification. Children are a miracle; I’ll give you that.  However, the decision not to have children should not be looked upon by disgust and dismay.  I’ve expressed my desire not to have children for years, and for years people have made me feel like an awful person for the pronouncement. In fact, it is generally looked down upon when a woman states she does not desire to have children. Do you all remember the most recent backlash of this sort when Rachel Ray announced, shortly after getting married, she did not want to have children? There was an uproar! People feel as though they must convince and shame a woman into changing her mind. So yes, I’m glad there’s empirical evidence to show parenthood is not all it’s cracked up to be. I hope this brings solace to the droves of my fellow women out there in the world confident in their choice not to have children.  You are not alone.

Speak soon,

~ J

In case you’ve been living under a rock, the Williams sisters I refer to are Venus and Serena Williams, tennis’ dynamic duo, the saving grace of America for the sport, the apples of the African-American community’s eye. I absolutely love these girls. They make me so proud every time I see them suit up to play the game they’ve come to dominate. Two young women from the inner-city of Los Angeles infiltrated and took over this game so closely held by the Caucasian persuasion called tennis.

I’m sure Venus and Serena Williams never intended to become role models, but they are. I’m in the same age group as these women, yet I look up to them in awe. The ability to take the court time and time again in the face of adversity and blatant racism, yet always remaining professional and continuing to excel in spite of it all, all under the watchful eye of the world media, is nothing short of commendable.

Recently, I read the following on NPR’s website, “The current Wimbledon officially certifies that American tennis no longer exists except for that one family, name of Williams.” And although I detect a tinge of hate in this statement, it is truly undeniable.

To deny their invaluable presence in the sport is to expose your own prejudice and ignorance. In retrospect, I kick myself for not accompanying my friend Jasmyne on an interview she did of Serena Williams for the July 2008 issue of Ebony magazine (it’s the cover story, check it out). I’m sure if I ever had the chance to meet either one of the Williams sisters in person and could utter one thing, in one breath, it would merely be “Thank You.”

Love you girls. Fan for life.

Speak soon,

~ J

Many economists and our President dare not use the dreaded word recession and rather defer to the more “pleasant” phrase , economic downturn.  Get caught up in word play if you wish, but we can’t ignore the fact these are alarming times we are living in my friends.  Gas prices continue to soar, Americans continue to lose their homes at a climbing rate, unemployment is sky-rocketing on a national level, payrolls were down another 62,000 in June and globally, international exporters of basic foods such as rice and wheat have begun hoarding their supplies.

The government claims to downplay our economic conditions when addressing the American people in an effort to spare mass hysteria and grief.  Hello!! You don’t have to sugar-coat anything for me.  I know what time it is.  I just want to know someone is out there working to fix things.

Here’s a quick history lesson.  The stock market crashed in 1929 due to excessive selling.  Production and employment declined.  In 1930, there was panic in the banks.  By 1933, one-fifth of our banks had failed.  Franklin D. Roosevelt closed all the banks, calling it a bank holiday.  The banks eventually reopened after inspectors checked for their solvency.  The Great Depression persisted through the 1930′s and finally ended with Roosevelt’s controversial New Deal.

So here’s the question I pose to you, my esoteric nibblers of all things intellectual, where’s our New Deal?  Now I don’t know what you believe, but I’m a firm believer that if you don’t know your past, you don’t know your future.  And the history of the Great Depression sounds very similar to where we’re headed right now.  So instead of politicians and economists worrying about carefully crafting their words so as to manipulate the fragile psyche of the American people who are already on the brink to believe things aren’t .  How about a solution?

I don’t see it happening with the current Administration, considering President Bush has 196 days left in office and he clearly hasn’t done anything to help the American people the FIRST 2,000+ days he’s BEEN in office.  So I guess we have to keep our eyes on his successor, whoever he might be.  I’m guessing his name will rhyme with Mobama.

Looking forward to see what he does in his first 100 days.

Speak soon,

~ J

My grandmother has been diagnosed with cancer. It’s no secret that my grandmother is my heart strings. I love her beyond measure and always said there will be an unfillable void in my heart and life the day she leaves this earth. So upon hearing the news I thought, “cancer, psssshhh, we can beat this.” Cancer, unfortunately, has become as common as the common cold. I don’t know anyone not directly effected by the disease either personally or through a family member or friend. So with that thought in mind, I was confident she could be treated and cured in no time. Yet, I failed to take into consideration the emotional, mental and physical effects on her and my family.

My grandmother is in constant pain. The vibrant, feisty, fighter of a woman I’ve known all my life has become weak and listless. Her appetite has deteriorated and she hardly gets out of bed. I sit by her bedside talking to her like old times, but her apparent discomfort causes my stories to trail off to silent stares wishing there was something I could do to extinguish her pain. Sometimes I look away as she lays there verbally and physically writhing in pain because to see her in pain causes me pain. Often, I sit by her side trying to offer comfort, an arm around her shoulder, a massage of her back, not really knowing what to do. Most times she catches me off guard as she throws herself against my little frame, head rested on my chest, arm slung across my shoulder, body languid; I sit there holding her, rocking her, emotionally numb by the exchange.

She hasn’t started treatment yet and I’m concerned about how she’ll react to the assault of chemotherapy and radiation on her 73 year old body. The good news is the cancer was detected very early and the doctors are optimistic she’ll be cured of the cancer after treatment. I’ve advised her about the treatment process and why she needs to keep her mind and body as strong as possible going into treatment. Sometimes I think it falls on deaf ears. The effects on my family are also apparent as they don’t really know how to deal with my grandmother’s illness and her reaction to it. The whole thing has left me feeling vulnerable. I fix things. That’s what I do. But I can’t fix this. Naively, I thought my mere presence would do much to ease her pain, as I am unofficially dubbed the favorite grandchild. And while she thanks God often for my return home, my presence unfortunately is not enough.

So, I’ll continue to pray for her, love her and be there for her. She has a doctor’s appointment in a couple of days to discuss treatment. I’m sure things will get worst before they get better, but that’s ok. That’s why God gave us family, to be there for one another in the good times and bad. And with all the stress that my family and I have been under, I’d rather be nowhere else but here. I guess the old adage is true, home IS where the heart is.

Love you grandma

Speak soon,

~ J

I done heard it all!

Your behavior is crazy if:

1. Days and even weeks have passed since the last time you were in the physical presence of the object of your affection, yet, you still incessantly force some sort of communication, i.e., text, calls, etc, despite the little to no response from her. Take her cues and back off.

2. You pop up by the object of your affection’s residence or place of work uninvited.

3. You send daily essay-like letters to the object of your affection professing your love and/or affection after only one month of dating and prior to this onslaught of communication, she indicated she no longer wants to date you.

4. You stalk her myspace page in an effort to figure out who the object of your affection is currently dating or getting to know and then break into that person’s email account to see if there has been any correspondence between the two.

4a. Texting the object of your affection excerpts from the conversation(s) she’s had with her new person of interest that you discovered upon breaking into that person’s email account.

4b. You send out an email to the object of your affection, her current person of interest and all your friends (local and long distance) warning them to stay away from the object of your affection and essentially defaming her character, all because she no longer wants to date you.

5. You create bogus online profiles in an effort to befriend the object of your affection’s new girlfriend.

6. You offer the object of your affection the opportunity to move in with you after knowing her only one week.

7. You create a c.d. of love songs to give to the object of your affection after only a few mediocre encounters with her.

8. You’ve contacted the object of your affection’s family and/or friends out of concern over her whereabouts, even though she never directly gave you their contact info and you’ve never actually met these people you are calling.

9. You tattooed on your body the name of the object of your affection after only meeting her online, a few months prior to getting the tattoo, never having actually met her in person.

10. When visiting her home, you fake being drunk to the point where you cannot drive home in an effort to spend the night, even though she’s expressed she doesn’t want overnight company.

11. You have gotten into a physical altercation with the object of your affection due to your failure to leave her home upon repeated requests to vacate the premises, all because you wanted to spend the night.

12. You have already made mention of meeting her parents on the FIRST DATE!

13. You attempt to have the same conversation with the object of your affection EVERY TIME you see her, questioning why you two never ended up in a relationship.

14. You have lied on a friend or associate of yours to the object of your affection claiming the person had or has an STD, in an effort to deter the object of your affection from dating said friend or associate.

15.  You see the object of your affection in a social setting, such as a club, and proceed to hover around her all night, running interference as she tries to make connections with new people.

Whew!! Ok, that’s it for now.

This list by no means is exhaustive. Please feel free to contribute your own examples of crazy. We must join together to help decrease this pandemic plaguing the female species.

Hope this helps!

Speak soon,

~ J

Disclaimer: Now I don’t know this lady but look into her eyes. I’m telling you. It’s all in the eyes.

My most recent encounter was so disappointing. I thought she was such a cool, sane female. She’s smart, ambitious and social. Unfortunately, she might also be a loon. I tried to ignore the warning signs, but the text about her falling asleep smelling a pair of shorts I wore earlier in the day definitely confirmed it for me. Did I mention that text came after only 5 days of knowing her? Not to mention the other female in my life (not really); she’s crazy because she tries every six weeks or so to weasel her way back in my life. And what makes her crazy is the way she goes about it. You would think ignoring her would deter her, nope. Ignoring her DRIVES her. She’ll send emails that start off, “I know you got my last email.” I really want to refrain from giving die-hard examples to protect the not-so-innocent, but trust me, police have been used in the past on people.

I don’t know. Maybe it’s the fact women are emotional creatures. I think sometimes their emotions get away from them leading to irrational choices in behavior. Now I know you’re probably thinking, “J, why are you speaking in the abstract voice?” Well, that’s because I don’t associate with this behavior. Didn’t you read the beginning of this post? I’m not crazy. Yes, I am a woman. But, I’m in check of my emotions. Or, maybe, I haven’t met that one to bring out my crazy. Wow, scary proposition. Let’s not explore that one.

Anyhow, I’m no expert on the issue. I’m just a frustrated woman concerned with the possibility my quest for a sane, smart, compatible female is all in vain. And if that’s the case, where does that leave me? Do I settle for a loon and hope she has a good prescription plan? I can’t see that happening.

So until I get the answer to my quandary, the quest continues. Wish me luck.

Speak soon,

~ J

It’s no secret I love to travel, socialize and simply enjoy all life has to offer. So, with that being said, I have a lot to speak on and speak I will! So please, sit back, put your feet up and explore all the nooks and crannies of J Speak. It’s my pleasure to have you… well, maybe not you over there.

Speak soon,

~ J